Morning of Surgery

Wow, how time has flown by.  I’m now sitting here on the morning of my double mastectomy surgery.  My surgery isn’t scheduled until later this afternoon, so I have time to ponder (and write!).

I have lost track of how many times I’ve been asked in the last day or so “How are you feeling?”  What do you say to that question when you know you are going to go to sleep and wake up without your breasts?  Honestly, my answer is “I’m good!” 

I have thought a lot over the last day or two about how I feel, and how I should feel.  In reality, the answer to that question is however I feel, is how I should feel.  But, I can honestly say, I do feel good.

I think for many women, the thought of a double mastectomy is one of their greatest fears.  Understandably so.  Especially at age 39.  But for me, I stood in the bathroom this morning and looked in the mirror, and said good-bye to my boobs.  Interestingly, I felt no real remorse.  After all they are basically pockets of fat and tissue (with a few glands thrown in).  They don’t make me who I am, and, at the end of this whole process they will likely look better than they do now (or at least different, and less saggy!).  I truly am excited to begin this next part of my healing process, and I definitely look forward to knowing the tumor is removed.

Well, since I am now sitting in the surgery suite, I should probably wrap this post up.  I know that God has led me to some incredible surgeons, in an incredible hospital and He has this whole healing journey in His hands. 

It’s hard to believe by the time I post on here or facebook again, this procedure will be done. I look forward to letting everyone know how great I am doing then!